All For One, None For All?

Upon entering my fourth semester of college, I, for the first time, have been blessed with the opportunity to experience every student's favorite assignment: the group project. As if this weren't cause for celebration enough, I think it so nice I do it twice! (I have two group projects.)

Now don't get me wrong, I love people, I love school, I enjoy my classes, homework is homework and well heck I don't mind spending some quality time with Helen C. every now and again! But then there's just the whole group project "thing".

First you have to pick your group. Lucky for you if your TA assigns them, because unless you are the most prolific Facebook stalker in town or flippin' Jordan Taylor, chances are you don't know someone in all of your classes, and no one knows who you are. So essentially you're sitting there going, "what the fux am I supposed to do?", trying to make eye contact with everyone, but subtly enough so you don't look desperate, and finally going, "oh do you have a group you don't cool me neither what a coincidence I didn't already notice that as I sat here staring at everyone hating my life." But hey who isn't up for meeting new friends right!?!

So now that we're all sittin-pretty loving life thinking, "gee dang-it this sure is going to be neat!" we can decide on a group-time for everyone to reconvene. That's when we meet That Guy. That Guy is in 100 different clubs, works 10 hours a week, President of the International Confederation of Intercollegiate Corporate Political Institution of the Universal University Statute State Legacy Field Club, interns for NBC News on weekends, is taking 18 credits, plays competitive water polo, has a dog, volunteers at the local nursing home and is SUPER JACKED TO BE IN THIS GROUP. But he can only meet once a week. And he calls everyone Chief. Then there's This Guy. This Guy can only meet Monday mornings between 6:11 a.m and 8:42 a.m, Thursdays between 4:17 p.m and 5:03, his other classes are so much better than this, this project is a waste of life, his life is more important than yours will ever be, your major is not real, you are going nowhere, you godforsaken rock in my shoe.

So Tuesdays at noon? Great.

Now that we're three weeks into the assignment we'll meet for the first time, because obviously every meeting before now has fallen through, ended before it began, or left you standing in the lobby of College Library staring at the screen saver of your Dumb Phone watching the minutes click by waiting and wondering if you turned off the stove this morning. And where the H everyone is. After about 11 minutes you get the first text: "SHEIT BRAH TOTES 4GOT BOUDA MEETING 2DAY WAZ GETTIN YOKED. RESKHED?" oh, okay, what? Next you hear from That Guy: "Mornin' Chief! Just confirming our meeting tomorrow at noon, I'll bring the homecooked bagels!" No, no that was today. And then there's This Guy: "This is worthless, you are worthless, I finished this weeks assignment, will email it to you." Who is this guy?

But that was in the past, we have moved forward and are currently sitting in the corner of the loud section of the second floor, at a window table with an outlet. Score. Once everyone has checked their email, Twitter, Facebook, Pintrest, the Badger Herald Shoutouts, StumbleUpon, wisc.edu, the scores from today's game, their bank statement, their high school website, Myspace, mapquest, dictionary.com and AOL, it's showtime. Everything runs relatively smoothly for the first few hours, besides the fact that you've been there for a few hours, you haven't slept in two days, That Guy has a ray of sunshine coming out of every orifice on his body, This Guy left an hour ago for jury duty and Mr. Popular Magee over here has said SUP to 80% of people on the floor. Nonetheless, everyone powers through with commendable effort, the assignment is finished, you're all new friends on Facebook, and all that is left is the walk home.

Overall, group projects are inevitable. They encourage socialization, facilitate people skills, and force you to stretch beyond your comfort zone. No matter what field of study you go into in the world, the ability to work well with others can always take you far. Today, the prospect of group projects is not as daunting, as Facebook, Google Docs, and Skype allow you to work together without actually being together. Nonetheless, personally I think nothing beats the warm, cozy feeling you get from the interactive, in-person group collaborations inside cozy ol' Helen C. White.

Thaz all folks!

Satie Klavin

No egos were harmed in the creation of this post.